The Bittersweet (Unfinished)

It was the musical laugh that caught his attention. It was faint, and floated on the breeze like a soft perfume. He was immediately drawn to it like moth to flame. It wasn't long until he found himself looking at a Carousel; bright and lively with a haunting tune being played by an unseen band. How many times had he been here and never noticed? Perhaps he knew it was here, but like with so many things in our lives it was taken for granted as just always being there but not important. It was then that he saw her. She, all alone on the carousel, sat upon a black stallion carved with intricate detail, so much so that it looked as if at any moment it would leap free of it's moorings and carry her away across the park and into some distant fairyland of Tolkien's or Lewis's creation. He only had a moment to marvel at its beauty when he noticed her looking at him. It must have struck her funny, the way he'd just been standing there for she threw her head back and laughed. Not a taunting or teasing thing, but a happy, joyous laugh that was contagious and made him smile in spite of himself. His feet moved and carried him to a bench that was nearby with clear view of the Carousel. He sat and could not wait until she came back around. She did; and she was even lovelier than the first time for he had longer to take her in.
She wore a white, strapless dress that flowed off her like a river of ivory and silk. Her golden hair in curls, danced off her shoulders in the breeze. Her eyes sparkled like sapphires when she smiled and his mouth fell agape when their eyes met making her laugh again and look back playfully over her shoulder as she arced away from him. When she came round again she blew him a kiss and giggled like a schoolgirl before turning her face down a bit, as if to say "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make fun. I shouldn't tease like that." He didn't think it possible, but that sweetness, that concern for his feelings, made her even more beautiful than before. Around and 'round she went and he watched her, mesmerized. Sometimes she'd smile, other times she seemed torn between being embarrassed by him watching or flattered. He got up and walked closer, and when he did she suddenly seemed nervous. The closer he got the more uncomfortable she looked, her eyes looking about as if trying to find somewhere to run to. He slowed at this and stopped within a few feet of her as she went past. He just stood there letting her go by several times until she seemed to relax and just look at him. He could not believe how beautiful she was. This close he could see that she had freckles, and there was a slight crookedness to her mouth or perhaps it was her nose that was a bit crooked, he couldn't quite put a finger on it nor did he really care what it was. It all blended together to make HER, all the things others might see as flaws, things that even she might not find attractive about herself, he found lovely. He stood there adoring her and she blushed. The next time around she blew him a kiss again, but there was no teasing this time; it was more “thank you” than anything. She came around again. He went to ask her name, but sensing this she held up her hand and shook her head. She looked over her shoulder shyly as she turned away, finger to lips wishing him silent. He wanted to be close to her, much closer than they were, and with her next pass he meant to climb aboard and at least stand near her, but when she saw him move to keep pace with her she spoke “No. You can’t.”, stunned he slowed and looked at her puzzled. Again the shy look and finger to lips. Her next pass had her looking at him sadly and he read “I’m sorry” in her eyes. Her next pass had her forcing a large smile and she motioned for him to go sit back down at the bench. As he turned to walk away he glanced at his watch, lord how the time had passed, he had to go. He didn’t want to, but he had things that need to get done. He walked backwards as he passed the bench and pointed at his wrist to let her know he had to go. The pained, sad look on her face tore at his heart and he blurted out “I can come back! I WILL come back. Tomorrow? Will you be here tomorrow?” She was just being carried behind the Carousel when he asked and panic took hold of him. He was worried that she hadn’t heard and he was absolutely terrified that she might not come back around. This entire time the Carousel had not even slowed let alone stopped for her to get off, but still he felt she might not come around for him to tell her he’d be back. Just as he was about to run back to her she appeared on the other side, craning her neck to see him as if she had felt the same way, that he wouldn’t be there for her to answer. “Will you be here tomorrow? “ he asked again, and she smiled and nodded. Oh how her smile filled him with light. “Then I shall be here too. The same time tomorrow then. Goodnight…” (my love?), he couldn’t believe that the words had almost come out of his mouth. My love. How insane to think that one could fall so instantly in love with someone you didn’t know in the slightest. He paused and said,” Goodnight my sweet. I will see you tomorrow.”. She smiled again and blew him one last kiss over her shoulder as she went behind the center again. He looked over his shoulder several times, always looking to see if she was still craning her neck to see him as he faded into the distance…..

She did. Each and every time, until he could see her no longer.

His night was filled with task after failed task as he could not focus to save his life. Everything would somehow lead to thoughts of her. Sleep was impossible and it seemed an eternity til the sun came up bringing with it a new chance to see her.